Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Missing his 21st birthday

August 4, 2010

21 years old

Yesterday was Daniel’s 21st birthday.  It was a melancholy day for me in many ways as I felt oddly detached from my work sitting through a morning staff meeting preoccupied with missing my son.  I left after lunch to be with the family.

I spent a lot of time these last few days and weeks wondering what Daniel would be like now – what he would be doing as he prepares to go back to Whitworth for his senior year – what he would be dreaming about and planning for his life.  Waves of familiar sadness overtake me as I contemplate these questions and am left to simply wonder and wish there were answers.

Five of Daniel’s buddies again joined us last night – Lizzie, Eric, Chris, Tyler, and Nate.  As usual, they were sweet and it was bittersweet to be with them.  Watching Ben wrestle with Eric and Chris in the backyard was heart warming and heart breaking – he so badly misses this key relationship with his brother but these young men are now angels in his life.

Yesterday I was thinking about how much I miss Daniel and how I am somehow now getting more used to or familiar with living with this feeling of loss – almost.  I don’t really understand how this ever present feeling is shaping me or changing me, but I sense I am marked forever and different than I was before.

 

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