December 19, 2009
“Deep loss births deep love”
We hosted our fifth annual Fab Family Christmas party last night. The Fab Families include the original Fab Five group of Daniel’s close high school male friends from Young Life who met in a weekly disciple group, several additional girls (Fabettes) and young adult YL leaders who were part of Daniel’s journey, along with their family members.
Midway through the evening, the Fab kids paused to give us a charming and very special gift – a framed photo Mal took related to Daniel with personal messages written on the mat about Daniel. As they presented the gift, the Fab and Fabettes, and a parent or two, took turns sharing thoughts about how Daniel’s life and death continue to resonate and impact them. In turn, each described how different memories of Daniel continue to occupy their minds and hearts, how they sense that God continues to teach them things as they reflect on the passion and faith that guided Daniel, and how losing Daniel is changing how they view life in many different ways.
Hearing these stories about the ways our son’s life continues to impact his closest friends was both heart-warming and heart-breaking. Carol and I shed tears but were deeply blessed by the words spoken, as were Hannah and Ben who sat in the middle of this amazing group of 25 young adults and parents and soaked in their love.
Matty’s father, Jim, summarized it beautifully at the end of the evening when he shared with me, “deep loss births deep love.”
We are deeply loved by this amazing band of friends. The deep loss that we have each experienced in different ways as a result of Daniel dying has somehow birthed a deeper love among us as we continue to connect and work out what our relationships mean in our lives.
It was an amazing evening – exhausting, exhilarating, and profoundly touching all at the same time.
We feel loss deeply, yet we feel loved deeply as well. Somehow this love is imbued with a supernatural essence and quality – indeed, it is “God present” among us, working through this group of dear people to love and encourage our family and each other with amazing grace and hope.
I don’t know how you deal with this type of loss without this type of love, grace, and hope. Thanks be to God for these gifts to our family and friends!
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