Grieving and mourning

November 15, 2009

Grieving and Mourning

We went to a presentation the other night at Children’s Hospital.  Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a clinical psychologist who does grief counseling, trains others to do so, and has written extensively on these subjects spoke to a large group of parents who have lost a child.

Much of his presentation sounded familiar to us; we realize that we have begun to recognize a lot of patterns in our own emotions, the way we interact with others, and the way they respond to us.  It was good to hear that we are not crazy or even necessarily unique in our struggles with grief.  In fact, we left feeling very validated in our respective journeys. 

One distinction that Wolfelt makes is the way he describes grief as the inward emotions that one feels, and mourning as “grief gone public” or the way that one expresses one’s grief to others, albeit crying, journaling, talking, producing art, etc.

My mourning obviously is wordy – I have a huge need to express my grief and the thoughts that are coming along with it in words on paper.  Wolfelt’s comments encouraged me to keep at this journal – to keep reflecting on my daily experiences and the way my grief intersects with so much of my everyday life.