A friend who has
some views on spirituality different than mine told me this week that I have an
obvious aura or spiritual energy about me.
I am not sure what this means, but Carol’s response was interesting when
I shared this conversation with her – she simply said that our grief is the reality
behind this sense that others see something uniquely spiritual going on in my
life.
Perhaps what this
friend is seeing (not so much physically, but in my demeanor, attitude,
behavior, and words) is the result of some sort of blessing and comfort that
seem to be coming to us as we grieve. In
this pain, I also have a sometimes odd (for me) sense that God is closer to me
and I am closer to Him.
It feels like so
much of my psychological protection was stripped away. I feel more vulnerable and exposed to
everything, but in this state, there is also a weird peace and freedom that is
beginning to take hold. Oddly, this state
of being or spiritual mindset feels like a blessing to me at this stage, even
though I am hesitant to use that term anywhere near a reference to Daniel’s
death.
Perhaps this whole
process is somehow producing an expansion of the soul (as Jerry puts it) or a transformation
of my heart that is visible to those around me who are watching. Might this be a "blessing" for those of us who mourn?
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