Saturday, June 29, 2013

Depression and Saturday

October 9, 2010

I find that Saturdays seem to be my worst day in terms of slumping into a depression.  It seems that work and other activities are good distractions for me on all the other days, but when my time is less structured and I am at home more, than it comes, the shroud of dark emotions covering over me.

People say that I should focus on my happy memories of Daniel.  I do, at times, but it is very difficult to also not lapse back into deep darkness when I think about all that we are each missing as a result of Daniel’s death. 

Hannah turned 18 a couple days ago and she should be hearing from her big brother on what this means and what it doesn’t and the fact that she is still his kid sister.  Daniel should be her confidant and sounding board as she churns through college possibilities and sorts out where she might choose to go.

Ben is learning how to drive and here to, he should be experiencing the brotherly banter that Daniel would bring him on that subject.

Carol and I struggle with our heavy hearts as we watch our kids miss out and as we see all Daniel’s contemporaries finding romance in their lives, contemplating their next steps after graduation, and more. 

So much excitement and life in front of all these young people – where is our other son?  He should be in the middle of it all.

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