Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Nine months of Grief and Grace - Daniel is saving me a seat!

January 28, 2009

Nine months

Nine months ago today Daniel died. 

Nine months has not been enough time for me to fully comprehend what I just wrote. 

Nine months is roughly the same amount of time that Carol carried Daniel in her womb before he was born.  Those nine months were filled with anticipation and hope; these nine months have been filled with much agony and unspeakable grief accompanied by many moments of amazing grace and love.

Ironically, just getting pregnant was actually a challenge for us in the first place.  Three kids and 20 years later that too seems like a distant and ironic memory.

Daniel was a wonderful gift to our family and to many, many others.  We miss him terribly and yet we are so grateful that God blessed us with his life. 

The mystery is that grief and grace arrive together.

January 26, 2009
 
A seat at the table

Every time the music started in church yesterday I began to cry.  During the final recessional song, the tears just kept flowing.  I realize that music in general, and worshipful music in particular, triggers my grief.

Daniel’s faith and my own meet somehow during these songs.  I feel especially close to him but also miss him deeply when I am sensing God’s spirit and presence.  Perhaps it is some palpable awareness that he is just on the other side of that thin spiritual veil that separates us in these moments of worship; perhaps it is simply the beauty of God’s grace that contrasts with our fragile brokenness – I don’t really know.

Perhaps this is a moment where I am actually experiencing the “communion of saints” as my awareness of Daniel’s presence at God’s table somehow comes into focus in my consciousness.  He just happens to currently be on the other side of this huge table every time I approach an altar when communion is being served.

I think Daniel is saving me a seat on his side of that table.  

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