Grace and Gratitude

May 22, 2009

Intersected Lives

 
About 17 years ago, our then three year old son Daniel was introduced to two other little boys his age, Stephen and Jeremy.  These three boys went to pre-school and on through other schools together and formed many layers of friendships that have endured since.
 
Tomorrow Stephen’s sister Sarah will get married, so it was only fitting that today Daniel’s mother and Jeremy’s mother should throw an elegant bridal shower for Sarah in our backyard.
 
The intersected lives of our three families have endured all these years – all the fun and happy times and a few unhappy times which for us most profoundly culminated in losing Daniel last year.  Yet watching Sarah and Vivian, Elise and Susan, and Carol all engaged today in this celebration today reminds me of the wonderful blessing of these two families to our family and the intersected lives that we have shared together.

God’s grace sometimes comes to us in large and loud ways, but perhaps more often it comes in small and quiet ways.  The intersected lives we share with old friends are definitely moments to remember that grace cannot be taken for granted, but should elicit deep gratitude.

May 24, 2009

Choosing gratitude

 
Our old friend Susan and I were talking yesterday and she commented that she was impressed that Carol and I were finding ways to be grateful even in the midst of our grief.  She observed that it would be easy to simply descend into grief and stay there, but that we were instead also finding ways to be grateful for what was good in our lives even as we grieve. 

I thanked her for sharing that observation, though I added that we were far from perfect in maintaining a balance between our grief and gratitude.

Choosing to look for ways to be grateful when we are feeling sorrow and sometimes even anger is something that we are consciously attempting to pull off.  This choice comes from a belief that we actually still have a lot to be grateful for, even though we are grieving Daniel’s death.  It also reflects a pragmatic commitment to our other kids, to try and give them some sense of normal even during this time in their lives when they have suffered an overwhelming experience in losing their big brother.

Ultimately, choosing gratitude reflects what we believe about God, that He ultimately is taking care of us, that He loves us and loves Daniel.  Even though I may never understand why Daniel died, I can somehow trust that good things can and will also still happen to me and my family, and I can choose to be grateful for them.