Sunday, July 7, 2013

We have not moved on, but we are moving forward

April 23, 2011

I read an article this weekend about a documentary film just released that tells the stories of the dozen families who lost high school student in the Columbine shootings.  One parent said something that struck me that went something like this:

“As parents, we have not moved on, but we are moving forward ever mindful of what was lost.”

I so agree with this sentiment.

“Moved on” denotes having finished something or brought some activity or experience to some sort of closure – as in moving on from my grief.  I cannot imagine moving on from losing Daniel since I am not finished with him, or with my grief, and I don’t believe I want to bring it to closure or could even if I desired it.

Yet I can imagine that I am moving forward with this loss, carrying the emotional baggage with greater ease as I go and somehow incorporating this loss into my life, who I am as a person, what I believe, how I behave, etc.

I am ever mindful of what, or more specifically, who was lost and is physically gone from my daily life.  I have not left that person or memory behind but rather carry that broken relationship with me wherever I go.  I move forward but feel like I am a different person walking through life differently than I would have otherwise.

I have not moved on from my grief but perhaps I am moving forward, carrying my grief with me as I go, ever mindful of this seemingly permanent new dimension in my life.

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