Here I am, writing in the middle of the night again – not
sure if it is the hops in the beer I drank too late in the evening last night
or if my soul is simply in its usual low level of turmoil – probably a little
of each.
I feel unsettled emotionally even though one would think I
would be used to it by now.
Yesterday we learned that a long-time casual friend of ours,
Linda, had finally been overtaken by the cancer that has ravaged her body on
and off again for eight years or so – may this dear woman now rest in God’s
eternal grace and peace and may God’s grace surround her husband and family.
As I worked the dirt of a flower garden in our yard later in
the day, I found myself deep into a fantasy that Linda could literally be
greeting Daniel in heaven right at that moment, giving him a hug and a greeting
from us and letting him know how deeply loved and still missed he is on this
earth. As these thoughts were forming
and I dove into the emotional side of them, I found myself yearning for it to
be true, for there to be this relational transaction occurring, this passing on
of a very personal message between a mother who knew us as parents and observed
our grief on earth and our son whose death continues to trigger those deep
feelings and yearnings.
Of course, I really have no idea what heaven may be like –
do people who have known each other on earth or have mutual friends and
acquaintances somehow cross paths and reconnect? Are the crowds so overwhelming that it takes
days or longer to find your way around and find all these people? If so, perhaps it is too soon for Linda and
Daniel to have run into each other.
One day, I will find out if this connection took place. In the meantime, I long for it to be true and
I carry that longing, along with so many others, within my unsettled heart and
soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment