Monday, April 28, 2014

Purpose, Hope, and Remembering

April 13, 2014


Purpose and tragedy
Is there a purpose going into or preceding a tragedy or does purpose come from or out of a tragedy?

I don't believe there was a purpose for or purpose in Daniel dying in a precipitous way - I don't believe a purpose came before and thus led to or caused him to die. 


But, I absolutely believe there is a purpose that emanates from his death or comes out of his death - a purpose that is the result of the horrific loss that we suffered and the grief that we still must bear.  I sense that we have to find a different purpose for our lives as the result of his death - we live differently because he died, hopefully more graciously and with more forgiveness and a greater sense of lightness, in a more relaxed, less controlling state, because we know life is fragile and we have little or no control over the ultimate outcomes. 


Since we know that life can be snapped away from us in a heartbeat, we know that we are here to love each other, serve each other, forgive each other, care about each other, and to be God's redemptive hand for each other.


We are not on this earth to control and to force our will on others


I want my purpose in life to be absolutely different as a result of Daniel’s death.  I want to live differently, openly, with more care and grace and peace and calmness and forgiveness.


Lord, hear my prayer.


April 20, 2014
Resurrection hope


Earlier in this journal I mentioned that my posture toward Easter and the resurrection of Jesus has clearly shifted since Daniel died.  His death has challenged me to my core in so many ways, including my belief in Jesus’s resurrection and the implication of that in Daniel’s life and my own.
Easter became even more personal on April 28, 2008 when Daniel died since all I have now is the hope that resurrection from the dead is real and that I will see him again.


April 28, 2014
Six Years of Remembering


Today is the sixth anniversary of Daniel’s death and as a family we once again face a day of remembering and pondering his life and our loss.
We have heard from dozens of friends and family today and in recent days several local friends approached me to share their love and concern as we approached this day.


Grieving a loss like this is so very personal and yet I feel the enormous power of God’s love through the words and care of so many wonderful people.  Perhaps that is why I chose to share these intimate thoughts in this journal and on this blog; indeed we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses even on this earth and the combined care, compassion, and love of this group bolsters us on our journey as we continue to wrestle with our human emotions of pain and constant longing for the son and brother who is gone.
As this day winds down, I miss Daniel terribly and yet I remain grateful for the privilege of fathering him (and his siblings!) and for the gifts he brought to us during his lifetime.  And I am grateful to receive the love and encouragement of so many who are walking beside us on this journey.


Rest in peace, dear son.  See you soon.

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