Purpose
and tragedy
Is there a purpose
going into or preceding a tragedy or does purpose come from or out of a
tragedy?
I don't believe
there was a purpose for or purpose in Daniel dying in a
precipitous way - I don't believe a purpose came before and thus led to or
caused him to die.
But, I absolutely
believe there is a purpose that emanates from his death or comes out of his
death - a purpose that is the result of the horrific loss that we suffered and
the grief that we still must bear. I sense that we have to find a different
purpose for our lives as the result of his death - we live differently because
he died, hopefully more graciously and with more forgiveness and a greater
sense of lightness, in a more relaxed, less controlling state, because we know
life is fragile and we have little or no control over the ultimate
outcomes.
Since we know
that life can be snapped away from us in a heartbeat, we know that we are here
to love each other, serve each other, forgive each other, care about each
other, and to be God's redemptive hand for each other.
We are not on
this earth to control and to force our will on others
I want my purpose
in life to be absolutely different as a result of Daniel’s death. I
want to live differently, openly, with more care and grace and peace and
calmness and forgiveness.
Lord, hear my
prayer.
April
20, 2014
Resurrection
hope
Earlier in this journal I mentioned that my
posture toward Easter and the resurrection of Jesus has clearly shifted since
Daniel died. His death has challenged me
to my core in so many ways, including my belief in Jesus’s resurrection and the
implication of that in Daniel’s life and my own.
Easter became even more personal on April 28,
2008 when Daniel died since all I have now is the hope that resurrection from
the dead is real and that I will see him again.
April
28, 2014
Six
Years of Remembering
Today is the sixth anniversary of Daniel’s
death and as a family we once again face a day of remembering and pondering his
life and our loss.
We have heard from dozens of friends and family
today and in recent days several local friends approached me to share their
love and concern as we approached this day.
Grieving a loss like this is so very personal
and yet I feel the enormous power of God’s love through the words and care of
so many wonderful people. Perhaps that
is why I chose to share these intimate thoughts in this journal and on this
blog; indeed we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses even on this
earth and the combined care, compassion, and love of this group bolsters us on
our journey as we continue to wrestle with our human emotions of pain and
constant longing for the son and brother who is gone.
As this day winds down, I miss Daniel terribly
and yet I remain grateful for the privilege of fathering him (and his
siblings!) and for the gifts he brought to us during his lifetime. And I am grateful to receive the love and encouragement of so many who are walking beside us on this journey.
Rest in peace, dear son. See you soon.
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