Remembering all the stories

July 16, 2008

Remembering all the stories

One of Dan’s friends from Whitworth, Janna, sent us a sweet card this week.  Among other things, she said that she had been thinking a lot about the dinner that 40 student friends of Dan had shared with us at Bill Robinson’s house the day of the memorial service at Whitworth.  Specifically, she said she would never forget the stories about Dan and the way he had engaged and impacted so many of their lives.

Her words touched me deeply, especially since they brought back vivid memories of all those beautiful kids and their memories of my beautiful son.  Stories that included sheer silliness mixed with amazingly serious words about our son – putting a fake cat out on the drive just to see what cars, especially the college security patrol, would do in response – to Little Ben and Dan mooning Big Ben’s girl friend over the webcam  -- to Dan playing Emily with this whole wild set of questions about “defining the relationship” in his classic self-mocking way – to he and Ben R. going from dorm to dorm, knocking on doors and practicing “the worst pick up lines ever” on random, unsuspecting girls – to recollections of Dan in the banana suit at the roller skating rink, leading little kids in the banana dance, signing autographs, and couple-skating with Alicia – to very poignant, heartfelt descriptions of Daniel’s spiritual commitment and desire to engage others in the mutual pursuit of God – to Dan in his lime green leisure suit, whenever and wherever he had opportunity to wear it, telling his dorm buddies that “sometimes you just have to check your dignity at the door” – to more than one kid telling Ben and Hannah that Daniel loved them dearly and talked about his love for them and them a lot, and others saying that Daniel described his family in loving terms as well.

All amazing stories and words to hear about your son, though in some ways, also words that remind you of the deep, deep loss we feel as we miss this vital, silly boy who had become such a mature young man.  As with many experiences since Daniel died, my heart rejoices at the life he was living while it is shattered and broken that we lost him so soon.  All very bittersweet.

Janna’s little note and statement about that evening brought forth all these memories and more.  I only fear a day when I will struggle to remember the stories, and worse, Daniel himself.